Tom Brady Secrets

Tom Brady once ate only oysters for one month straight. He smelt wonderful

Welcome boys and girl, thank you for joining me on this first addition of “Story Time with Tom Brady”. Sit back and enjoy this wonderful Chris Hooley Story

Football and Porta-Jons

Imagen a young Tom playing on the worst football team in his local Boston Pop Warner Football team. Tom is playing his little heart out, tackling, running, jumping and pooping? Practice was over and the entire time Tom had to drop a duce. He held and he squeezed and was relieved when that final whistle blew. He dashed over to the porta-jon and plopped down on that cold plastic seat to let the turds fly. Ah what a relief he felt, finally he must have thought but wait what was that?!?! A push a shove, the porta potty was shacking back and forth. NO they wouldn’t push this porta-jon over would they? OH they would and they did. Tom crawled his way out of the poop drenched porta jon. Covered in poop he had to sit in the back of his coach’s truck on the way home. To this day Tom will not use porta potties or let any one spray him with a hose.

That was story time withTom Brady :: APPLAUSE::

Tom Brady likes to give back to the community. Once a month he spends time with hot homeless chicks teaching them about the better things in life… Like bike riding or fishing… What a nice guy Tom Brady is. Tom gives each girl a 1 hour massage to help them relax and feel the finer things in life. Tom really helps those girls. Way to go… Tom Brady is one fine American!

Tom Brady told me in confidence a secret that I swore I would never tell. But we all know that I’m a filthy liar and of course I will tell you this SECRET, otherwise it wouldn’t be Tom Brady Secrets.

Tom is a super hero… That’s right, a SUPER HERO. He saves kittens from trees, 18+ girls who are lonely on a Saturday night and people from grammar mistakes… His secret super identity has been hidden for years but today I reveal it to you. Tom Brady is… IS… IS CAPTAIN COOL. That’s right every one’s favorite super hero captain cool is really Tom Brady.