Tom Brady Secrets

In the 1986 fantasy-adventure Labyrinth, Tom Brady was supposed to play the part of a youngster named “Toby”, but David Bowie (Jareth the Goblin King) had some minor changes made to the movie to keep Brady from being in the film.

Brady, 11 years old at the time was accused by Bowie of hitting on his supermodel girlfriend.

As a result, David Bowie had the writers change the age of the character Brady was supposed to play which was that of an infant.

Years later Tom Brady still resents Bowie for his jealousy and someday hopes to be in the sequel.

When asked for comment, Toby Froud (the child who played the part of Toby) had this to say.

“Um, Tom Brady can cry about me getting the part all he wants. That doesn’t change the fact that he is a football star and gets laid by supermodels while I have nothing going for me except I was the baby in that damned muppet movie.”

David Bowie refused to comment and only snarled at our reporters.

While not as funny as Mother-in-law equalling “Woman Hitler” and Sports Bra spelling “Traps Orbs”, these are Tom Brady’s anagrams!
Dry a tomb.

Body mart.

Do my bart.

Ram by dot.

My bod art.

Mad by rot.

And my personal favorite…

Tar my bod.

Can you come up with a better Tom Brady anagrams?

Did you know?:

Tom Brady had a small role as “Ninja #2″ in the MTV Award nominated blockbuster Beverly Hills Ninja.

In the 1997 comedy starring Chris Farley in which he plays a bungling Ninja in training to stop a counterfeiter.

In Brady’s short but Oscar-worthy scene, he performs a backflip with a twist while throwing a ninja shuriken only to land beneath a toppling Farley and is ultimately crushed to death by fatness.

Tom Brady has never… 

…eaten an Easy-Baked Cake.

…shaved his nether region.

…rode a unicycle.

…snorted Kool-Aid.

…jaywalked.

…owned a thesaurus.

…had a YooHoo chocolate flavored drink.

…danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.

…flipped through the pages of a Victorias Secrets catalog.

…been bitten by a mosquito.

…contracted the Bird Flu.

…opened a chain of Dunkin’ Donuts.

…farted in public.

…been caught stealing.

…taken sides in the GI Joe/Cobra war.

…blinked involuntarily.

If there are two things that Tom Brady loves the most, it’s kittens and mixed martial arts.

So with all the controversy and ugliness surrounding the Michael Vick dog fighting incident, it was in Tom Brady’s best interest to seperate himself from his side project and one true love, the KMMAA (Kitten Mixed Martial Arts Association).

So until the memory of the unsanctioned animal fights has passed and people start to see the real sport that is behind pitting two animals against each other in the art form of sports and combat, Brady is going to have to wait.

Tom Brady does not approve this video.

And THAT is not a secret.

In 2005, Tom Brady appeared on an episode of the Simpsons titled “Home and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”.

While it is common for celebrities to appear as a guest character on the popular animated TV series, Brady only agreed to be a part of the show under one condition.

Worried about how he would look as a caricature, Tom decided to paint himself yellow and be photographically inserted into the episode so he could retain his boyish good looks.

Matt Groening was obviously enraged by this and decided at the last moment to replace the footage with his own trademark Simpson style.

Here is the only remaining still from original show.

Tom Brady, in an effort to restore his manliness after the devastating Super Bowl loss has begun picking fights with sharks.

His latest battle resulted in him knocking the teeth out of a full grown, great white shark (pictured) with only a slap.

Animal rights activists have been trying to stop Brady from continuing these acts but he was quoted as saying “Hey, I was just standing there in a pool of chum, minding my own business. They started it.”

Tom Brady looks like the clean-cut, all-American boy next door.

But he hides a deep dark secret.

Tom Brady is into tattoos.

Here is the exclusive picture of the first tattoo Brady ever got.

Rumor has it that Tom is covered in tattoos and this is one of the first that has come to light.

More of Tom Brady’s hidden tattoos coming soon.

The questions as to why Tom Brady and Randy Moss have decided to skip the Pro Bowl have been circulating all over the media with suspicions of injuries and bad attitudes.

The real reason is simpler than anyone thought.

Recently it was reported that Brady and Moss are “Coaster Buddies” which led to even more suspicion.

But it is infinitely more innocent than it sounds as they both share a tremendous love of roller coasters.

Brady was interviewed today while in line for a “Park Hopper Pass” for him and his roller coaster pal and asked about the Pro Bowl.

He simply said, “The Pro Bowl happens during the best time of the year, roller coaster season. Rand and I don’t wanna miss it again this year.”

So it seems sometimes, guys just wanna have fun.

A ladies’ man and great pilot, Tom Brady aka Lance Charles McClain was the Right Arm of the mighty Voltron during the Lion Force years.

He was up for the position of lead Lion but loved the idea of being Voltron’s “throwing arm”.

Tom also liked the way the red suit brought out his eyes.

While the Black Lion is usually the team leader, this Voltron which is also the Defender of the Universe, decided to make the change to accommodate Brady’s ego.

Sadly all members of Team Voltron Lion Force were killed by Prince Lotor while Tom Brady was signing autographs.

Since then Voltron has been shelved while other more popular giant robots have taken the spotlight including The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers MegaZord which was once piloted by William “The Refrigerator” Perry.