Tom Brady Secrets

It seems that the whole “torn ACL” business was a cover-up.

Tom Brady seems to have lost his mind at a recent Oasis concert and attacked Noel Gallagher and then went after his brother before security tackled him and threw him off stage.

It is no secret that Brady absolutley hates the song “Morning Glory” and he showed that displeasure in a violent attack.

Giselle could not be reached for comment but has been known to walk the runway to the song “Champagne Supernova”.

Tom Brady looks like the clean-cut, all-American boy next door.

But he hides a deep dark secret.

Tom Brady is into tattoos.

We’ve shown you his first tattoo, but this is one of his more impressive pieces.

It’s no secret that Tom Brady has a man-crush on Paul Reubens, the actor who portrays Pee-Wee Herman but he actually went as far as permanently adding Reubens portrait to his body.

How’s that for a man-crush?

More of Tom Brady’s hidden tattoos coming soon.

Tom Brady has never… 

…eaten an Easy-Baked Cake.

…shaved his nether region.

…rode a unicycle.

…snorted Kool-Aid.

…jaywalked.

…owned a thesaurus.

…had a YooHoo chocolate flavored drink.

…danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.

…flipped through the pages of a Victorias Secrets catalog.

…been bitten by a mosquito.

…contracted the Bird Flu.

…opened a chain of Dunkin’ Donuts.

…farted in public.

…been caught stealing.

…taken sides in the GI Joe/Cobra war.

…blinked involuntarily.

If there are two things that Tom Brady loves the most, it’s kittens and mixed martial arts.

So with all the controversy and ugliness surrounding the Michael Vick dog fighting incident, it was in Tom Brady’s best interest to seperate himself from his side project and one true love, the KMMAA (Kitten Mixed Martial Arts Association).

So until the memory of the unsanctioned animal fights has passed and people start to see the real sport that is behind pitting two animals against each other in the art form of sports and combat, Brady is going to have to wait.

Tom Brady does not approve this video.

And THAT is not a secret.

In 2005, Tom Brady appeared on an episode of the Simpsons titled “Home and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”.

While it is common for celebrities to appear as a guest character on the popular animated TV series, Brady only agreed to be a part of the show under one condition.

Worried about how he would look as a caricature, Tom decided to paint himself yellow and be photographically inserted into the episode so he could retain his boyish good looks.

Matt Groening was obviously enraged by this and decided at the last moment to replace the footage with his own trademark Simpson style.

Here is the only remaining still from original show.

Tom Brady has been the voice of Beaker, the hapless assistant of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew on the Muppet Show for the past 8 years.

He was also a talking football in one skit but will always be remembered for his classic line in the movie Muppets from Space when he said “Meep meep meep…..meep.”

While Brady is indeed the voice behind the puppet, he does not actually do the puppeteering. When asked about why he wouldn’t learn the craft he respoded with “I dunno man, hands up the backside make me feel kinda dirty.”

Tom Brady was the only extra on Star Trek to appear as a “Red Shirt” who did not die in their episode.

It turned out in a later episode that Brady was a Borg disguised as a crew member and assimilated the original crewman so thereby proving that all “Red Shirts” die.

Tom Brady was so upset with the way the episode turned out that he actually “assimilated” the writers of that single episode.

Due to the fact that there was no evidence, all charges were dropped.

Although I promised never to tell, Tom Brady was actually the keytar player in the 80’s pop group, Kajagoogoo! Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture from the “Top of the Pops” to prove it!

Feel free to use this image as your desktops wallpaper. It’s HAWT!

Tom has a secret collection of vintage Barbie dolls he keeps in a summer home in Michigan. His favorite Barbie is the 1954 Red Raider Cheerleader.

Welcome boys and girl, thank you for joining me on this first addition of “Story Time with Tom Brady”. Sit back and enjoy this wonderful Chris Hooley Story

Football and Porta-Jons

Imagen a young Tom playing on the worst football team in his local Boston Pop Warner Football team. Tom is playing his little heart out, tackling, running, jumping and pooping? Practice was over and the entire time Tom had to drop a duce. He held and he squeezed and was relieved when that final whistle blew. He dashed over to the porta-jon and plopped down on that cold plastic seat to let the turds fly. Ah what a relief he felt, finally he must have thought but wait what was that?!?! A push a shove, the porta potty was shacking back and forth. NO they wouldn’t push this porta-jon over would they? OH they would and they did. Tom crawled his way out of the poop drenched porta jon. Covered in poop he had to sit in the back of his coach’s truck on the way home. To this day Tom will not use porta potties or let any one spray him with a hose.

That was story time withTom Brady :: APPLAUSE::