Tom Brady Secrets

He plays it wearing a smokers jacket.

Although I promised never to tell, Tom Brady was actually the keytar player in the 80’s pop group, Kajagoogoo! Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture from the “Top of the Pops” to prove it!

Feel free to use this image as your desktops wallpaper. It’s HAWT!

Tom has a secret collection of vintage Barbie dolls he keeps in a summer home in Michigan. His favorite Barbie is the 1954 Red Raider Cheerleader.

Tom Brady’s favorite song is Aaron Neville’s “I don’t know much” featuring Linda Rondstadt. He sings it in the shower after every game.

1.Tom Brady Plays Uno Web Cam on the weekends

2. Tom Brady wears bikini briefs

3. Tom Brady is the lead singer in a rap group Crack Money

4. Tom Brady’s favorite drink is an Appletini

5. Tom Brady is from Boston

6. Tom Brady’s theme song is the final count down by Europe

7. Tom Brady drives a segway around his house (He wrecked it)

8. Tom Brady’s favortie web site is Top10kid.com

9. Tom Brady might be gay, but he still plays football like a man

10. Tom Brady is allergic to condoms

Tom Brady drinks Zima and Only Zima. He claims to drink manly beers but really he has the bartenders swap out the beer and drop dye in his Zima, to make it look like beer. It’s Ok Tom it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Tom Brady’s top 5 favorite hobbies:

1. Hula Hooping

2. Booger picking

3. Knitting

4. Cross Country Skiing

5. HopSkotch

Tom Brady’s plans for the weekend:

Friday Night: Greco Roman Wrestling

Saturday Night: Drunken Web Cam Uno

Sunday Night: Start his own NerdCore Rap group

He only became and NFL quarterback because he didn’t make it as a lumberjack.

Tom Brady’s real name is Mike Honco

Tom Brady is scared of clowns. If he see’s a clown he will cry and possibly wet himself. This one time at the circus a clown honked his nose infront of Tom. Tom was so scared he wet his pants and threw up on the clown!

Tom Brady has two things in his garage, a boom-box and card board. Tom Brady is training to be a break dancing machine.

Tom Brady went to Lego Land this weekend. While there he got in a fight with a Lego man and in the process started a fire, burning the park to the ground.

Luckily for Tome he is a master of Lego’s and rebuilt the town in 3 hours.

Sometimes he wears masks to mask his true identity, but Golden Boy Tom once rap battled Ini Kamoze in front of dozens of Ini’s fans and it has been documented that Ini Kamoze DID in fact poop in his pants. Reports state the poop smelled like cabbage but I cannot confirm this claim.

This guy is talking about Golden Boy’s truth speaking ability.  It’s true.  Tom Brady cannot tell a lie, it part of his unique genetic makeup that gives him that stone jaw that can slurp down King Cobra with the best of them.  He is actually more advanced genetically than typical humans. 

BTW- Humans are about to split into two races.  One that will go on to travel space with big heads and huge eyes, and ones that will go on to spawn with only supermodels and will get paid and worshiped as Gods to play whatever game they like.  I hope my kids’ genes end up going down the Brady evolutionary path!

Tom Brady will be performing a one man show of the Broadway play Oklahoma. Tickets are available at all ticket master locations. The show starts at 7pm at Mesa Community College. Tom encourages guest to dress up in western attire, no ass less chaps. Tom hopes to see you all there and “YIPPIE YIE YO CAYAE”

Tom Brady has divulged some interesting information. The usually tough Boston guy is actually a big scardy cat. That’s right Tome Brady is scared of something and its probably not what you think.

When Tom was in the 5th grade the Physical Education class did a team building exercise. They would climb a latter and walk between two trees on a beam. They were all hooked on to a rope so it was safe as walking on the ground between two trees. Tom do not see it this way. Every one in the class went including the chubby girl with asthma and glasses. All that was left was for tough guy Brady to go. Tom was having none of this. Tom’s teacher was insisting and Tom was not listening. In Tom’s words ” I almost kicked him in the nuts” Tom never did walk across the beam and forever will be known as Scardy Pee Pee Pants Brady

Tom Brady’s goal to be a Ninja has never ceased. He trains day and night for NINJA-hood. In his latest training movie Tom practices the art of stealth

Tom Brady once ate only oysters for one month straight. He smelt wonderful

Welcome boys and girl, thank you for joining me on this first addition of “Story Time with Tom Brady”. Sit back and enjoy this wonderful Chris Hooley Story

Football and Porta-Jons

Imagen a young Tom playing on the worst football team in his local Boston Pop Warner Football team. Tom is playing his little heart out, tackling, running, jumping and pooping? Practice was over and the entire time Tom had to drop a duce. He held and he squeezed and was relieved when that final whistle blew. He dashed over to the porta-jon and plopped down on that cold plastic seat to let the turds fly. Ah what a relief he felt, finally he must have thought but wait what was that?!?! A push a shove, the porta potty was shacking back and forth. NO they wouldn’t push this porta-jon over would they? OH they would and they did. Tom crawled his way out of the poop drenched porta jon. Covered in poop he had to sit in the back of his coach’s truck on the way home. To this day Tom will not use porta potties or let any one spray him with a hose.

That was story time withTom Brady :: APPLAUSE::

Tom Brady likes to give back to the community. Once a month he spends time with hot homeless chicks teaching them about the better things in life… Like bike riding or fishing… What a nice guy Tom Brady is. Tom gives each girl a 1 hour massage to help them relax and feel the finer things in life. Tom really helps those girls. Way to go… Tom Brady is one fine American!

Tom Brady told me in confidence a secret that I swore I would never tell. But we all know that I’m a filthy liar and of course I will tell you this SECRET, otherwise it wouldn’t be Tom Brady Secrets.

Tom is a super hero… That’s right, a SUPER HERO. He saves kittens from trees, 18+ girls who are lonely on a Saturday night and people from grammar mistakes… His secret super identity has been hidden for years but today I reveal it to you. Tom Brady is… IS… IS CAPTAIN COOL. That’s right every one’s favorite super hero captain cool is really Tom Brady.

Tom Brady top 5 favorite alcoholic beverages:

1. Appletini

2. MudSlide

3. Long Island Ice Tea

4. Sex on the Beach

5. BEER (he is a man after all)

Tom Brady’s favorite snack is Cheeto’s. The extreme Cheesy taste get him amped up

Tom Brady starts every day with a positive out look. When he wakes up he says out loud

” I AM AMAZING I AM AMAZING”

He then cries and goes back to bed.

Tom Brady’s top 5 favorite words:

1. $%^$
2. $@*#
3. %^@#
4. &$*#
5. $*&*

Tom Brady loves 4 letter words, but since this blog is frequented by kindergarten students and the elderly I refrained from writing the actual word.

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Not many of you know about Tom Brady’s secret life. For example, how many of you knew that he used to be an Al Queada terrorist named Muhammed Saleem Taskur Atwil? Well this site is here to expose the secret life of Tom Brady and let the truth be known. He’s not just some poster boy record setting quarterback who dates supermodels and wins superbowls. He’s so much more than that… so much more. Tom Brady PWNS YOU ALL!!!!

Tom Brady works weekends at Chucky Cheese. He Doesn’t do it for the money, he does it for the tokens, Tom is addicted to wack a mole. It’s really sad, I know.