Tom Brady Secrets

Tom Brady looks like the clean-cut, all-American boy next door.

But he hides a deep dark secret.

Tom Brady is into tattoos.

We’ve shown you his first tattoo, but this is one of his more impressive pieces.

It’s no secret that Tom Brady has a man-crush on Paul Reubens, the actor who portrays Pee-Wee Herman but he actually went as far as permanently adding Reubens portrait to his body.

How’s that for a man-crush?

More of Tom Brady’s hidden tattoos coming soon.

Tom Brady has never… 

…eaten an Easy-Baked Cake.

…shaved his nether region.

…rode a unicycle.

…snorted Kool-Aid.

…jaywalked.

…owned a thesaurus.

…had a YooHoo chocolate flavored drink.

…danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.

…flipped through the pages of a Victorias Secrets catalog.

…been bitten by a mosquito.

…contracted the Bird Flu.

…opened a chain of Dunkin’ Donuts.

…farted in public.

…been caught stealing.

…taken sides in the GI Joe/Cobra war.

…blinked involuntarily.

If there are two things that Tom Brady loves the most, it’s kittens and mixed martial arts.

So with all the controversy and ugliness surrounding the Michael Vick dog fighting incident, it was in Tom Brady’s best interest to seperate himself from his side project and one true love, the KMMAA (Kitten Mixed Martial Arts Association).

So until the memory of the unsanctioned animal fights has passed and people start to see the real sport that is behind pitting two animals against each other in the art form of sports and combat, Brady is going to have to wait.

Tom Brady does not approve this video.

And THAT is not a secret.

In 2005, Tom Brady appeared on an episode of the Simpsons titled “Home and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”.

While it is common for celebrities to appear as a guest character on the popular animated TV series, Brady only agreed to be a part of the show under one condition.

Worried about how he would look as a caricature, Tom decided to paint himself yellow and be photographically inserted into the episode so he could retain his boyish good looks.

Matt Groening was obviously enraged by this and decided at the last moment to replace the footage with his own trademark Simpson style.

Here is the only remaining still from original show.

Tom Brady looks like the clean-cut, all-American boy next door.

But he hides a deep dark secret.

Tom Brady is into tattoos.

Here is the exclusive picture of the first tattoo Brady ever got.

Rumor has it that Tom is covered in tattoos and this is one of the first that has come to light.

More of Tom Brady’s hidden tattoos coming soon.

The questions as to why Tom Brady and Randy Moss have decided to skip the Pro Bowl have been circulating all over the media with suspicions of injuries and bad attitudes.

The real reason is simpler than anyone thought.

Recently it was reported that Brady and Moss are “Coaster Buddies” which led to even more suspicion.

But it is infinitely more innocent than it sounds as they both share a tremendous love of roller coasters.

Brady was interviewed today while in line for a “Park Hopper Pass” for him and his roller coaster pal and asked about the Pro Bowl.

He simply said, “The Pro Bowl happens during the best time of the year, roller coaster season. Rand and I don’t wanna miss it again this year.”

So it seems sometimes, guys just wanna have fun.

Tom Brady has been the voice of Beaker, the hapless assistant of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew on the Muppet Show for the past 8 years.

He was also a talking football in one skit but will always be remembered for his classic line in the movie Muppets from Space when he said “Meep meep meep…..meep.”

While Brady is indeed the voice behind the puppet, he does not actually do the puppeteering. When asked about why he wouldn’t learn the craft he respoded with “I dunno man, hands up the backside make me feel kinda dirty.”

With the Super Bowl right around the corner everyone has been speculating about Tom Brady’s foot which has been seen covered in a boot.

Sources have told me that this all started with a viewing of Quentin Tarantino’s latest flick called Planet Terror…

which was part of a two movie horrorfest called Grindhouse. Seems that Brady has taken such a liking to the character in the movie named Cherry (played by Rose McGowan) who’s leg was amputated and replaced with a machine gun.

So needless to say, Tom, with his spontaneous attitude had to run out and get one just like it.

Now as you can see with the “boot” removed, Tom is sporting a brand new machine gun leg. No word yet on if the NFL will allow him to use it on the field.

Tom Brady was the only extra on Star Trek to appear as a “Red Shirt” who did not die in their episode.

It turned out in a later episode that Brady was a Borg disguised as a crew member and assimilated the original crewman so thereby proving that all “Red Shirts” die.

Tom Brady was so upset with the way the episode turned out that he actually “assimilated” the writers of that single episode.

Due to the fact that there was no evidence, all charges were dropped.

Congratulations to Tom Brady after taking Ladainian Tomlinson out of the big game this weekend with a “Sideline Sucker Punch” that helped the Patriots on to the Super Bowl.

While a sucker punch might be considered cheating or even a dirty tactic, this happened on the sidelines where anything goes. So technically Mr. Tomlinson is lucky Tom Brady only punched him instead of his usual curb stomp and/or 5-Point Death Touch.

Although I promised never to tell, Tom Brady was actually the keytar player in the 80’s pop group, Kajagoogoo! Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture from the “Top of the Pops” to prove it!

Feel free to use this image as your desktops wallpaper. It’s HAWT!