Tom Brady Secrets

It seems that the whole “torn ACL” business was a cover-up.

Tom Brady seems to have lost his mind at a recent Oasis concert and attacked Noel Gallagher and then went after his brother before security tackled him and threw him off stage.

It is no secret that Brady absolutley hates the song “Morning Glory” and he showed that displeasure in a violent attack.

Giselle could not be reached for comment but has been known to walk the runway to the song “Champagne Supernova”.

Some guys wear boxers. Some guys wear flannel.

Some guys even wear nothing at all.

But Tom Brady wears a real custom Spider-Man suit to bed.

The suit was made for him in a cooperative effort between Hanes and Marvel Comics, giving him both the comfort of cotton and the realism of his favorite super hero.

When asked about his sleepwear, Tom replied “This is what MY dreams are made of.”

Tom Brady looks like the clean-cut, all-American boy next door.

But he hides a deep dark secret.

Tom Brady is into tattoos.

We’ve shown you his first tattoo, but this is one of his more impressive pieces.

It’s no secret that Tom Brady has a man-crush on Paul Reubens, the actor who portrays Pee-Wee Herman but he actually went as far as permanently adding Reubens portrait to his body.

How’s that for a man-crush?

More of Tom Brady’s hidden tattoos coming soon.

In the 1986 fantasy-adventure Labyrinth, Tom Brady was supposed to play the part of a youngster named “Toby”, but David Bowie (Jareth the Goblin King) had some minor changes made to the movie to keep Brady from being in the film.

Brady, 11 years old at the time was accused by Bowie of hitting on his supermodel girlfriend.

As a result, David Bowie had the writers change the age of the character Brady was supposed to play which was that of an infant.

Years later Tom Brady still resents Bowie for his jealousy and someday hopes to be in the sequel.

When asked for comment, Toby Froud (the child who played the part of Toby) had this to say.

“Um, Tom Brady can cry about me getting the part all he wants. That doesn’t change the fact that he is a football star and gets laid by supermodels while I have nothing going for me except I was the baby in that damned muppet movie.”

David Bowie refused to comment and only snarled at our reporters.

While not as funny as Mother-in-law equalling “Woman Hitler” and Sports Bra spelling “Traps Orbs”, these are Tom Brady’s anagrams!
Dry a tomb.

Body mart.

Do my bart.

Ram by dot.

My bod art.

Mad by rot.

And my personal favorite…

Tar my bod.

Can you come up with a better Tom Brady anagrams?

Tom Brady looks like the clean-cut, all-American boy next door.

But he hides a deep dark secret.

Tom Brady is into tattoos.

Here is the exclusive picture of the first tattoo Brady ever got.

Rumor has it that Tom is covered in tattoos and this is one of the first that has come to light.

More of Tom Brady’s hidden tattoos coming soon.

99% of all men have been known to give their most private of privates their own personal names.

Tom Brady is no different.

What is special about the his man-bit monikers is that it reveals his secret love of Star Wars.

Tom Brady calls his man-missle “Peter Mayhew”…

…who played Chewbacca and his testicles “Kenny Baker and Warwick Davis”…

…who played R2D2 and Wicket the Ewok, respectively.

He has also been known to claim that he has “The Force” in his pants.

A little unknown fact is Tom Brady’s image once appeared on a slice of toast in the Vatican City.

This slice of his glory was discovered by Cardinal Josef Ratzinger and led to his being named Pope Benedict XVI back in April of 2005.

This is the last known picture of the sacred toast which is rumored to have been eaten by his Popeness and giving him supernatural powers.

Congratulations to Tom Brady after taking Ladainian Tomlinson out of the big game this weekend with a “Sideline Sucker Punch” that helped the Patriots on to the Super Bowl.

While a sucker punch might be considered cheating or even a dirty tactic, this happened on the sidelines where anything goes. So technically Mr. Tomlinson is lucky Tom Brady only punched him instead of his usual curb stomp and/or 5-Point Death Touch.

In the December of 1982 a young Tom Brady, sporting a mohawk and gold chains was approached by a clean cut, african american gentleman wearing a top hat and business suit who asked the youngster if it would be possible to use his likeness in a character he would be playing in an upcoming TV series.

January  23rd, 1983 the A-Team debuted on television.

Although I promised never to tell, Tom Brady was actually the keytar player in the 80’s pop group, Kajagoogoo! Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture from the “Top of the Pops” to prove it!

Feel free to use this image as your desktops wallpaper. It’s HAWT!

Tom has a secret collection of vintage Barbie dolls he keeps in a summer home in Michigan. His favorite Barbie is the 1954 Red Raider Cheerleader.